Wedded BLISS--- 26 Years Worth! :)

August 29th, 1986

my Handsome Husband!

Yea! We are married!!


             Yes,                       
we were young!
              And
that makes us
not very old still! :)

To my high school

sweetheart:

Thank you

for 

the last 26 years...

We 

COMMITTED

to love, cherish, honor

each other

through

thick and thin

(you have always been thin, I have been thick several times-physically speaking of course!)

sickness and health

(thankfully for the most part we have more health than sickness at this point :))

Prosperity and Want

(hmmm...I'm not sure if that line is right but we have had both)

Okay...

I don't remember the rest of our vows but I do know this:

You have 

ALWAYS

loved me

(maybe not liked me at times :))

ALWAYS

provided for our family

(and worked hard from the first years on going to school, working full time to take care of us)

ALWAYS

been LOYAL to me

and made our home full of boys 

an active one!

YOU

have and continue

to

INVEST

yourself

in our first batch of boys

and

NOW

our 2nd batch of kiddos

Not

many MEN

would want to start over and embrace

a life of diapers, homework, tears, sweat, fun,

laughter, TEENAGE years

AGAIN

after surviving it once.

You

have stretched my horizons with

mountain biking, tandem biking (although that about broke our marriage up! :), road biking,

camping

hiking and all 

this ADVENTUROUS 

stuff that I wouldn't have attempted

with our boys without you. :)

Thank you

for being long-suffering with me:

When I cooked our first dinner of a whole chicken and 

left in the bag of neck/gizzard/heart,

(and I THOUGHT I knew how to cook!)

made spaghetti night after night

or tuna fish casserole :)

when I act with my heart and not my head

(a balance of both is good :))

when I write checks b/c I don't want to use the credit card but don't check the balance

when I start a conversation with you and in the middle start a different conversation with you

when I put the mail all over

and countless other things...

For

believing in me

and helping me set physical goals (see above on biking)

encouraging me as a 

PERSON

and 

LOVING me!

Marriage is about actions

not just feelings

and you have shown that over and over again!

We compliment each

other and are proof

opposites attract! :) 

(although we aren't opposites in our convictions and passions!)

My prayer is that

through you and I 

others will see a marriage that is

not always

WEDDED BLISS :)

but that is

Christ- centered

Committed

and loving

but also

lots of FUN!

I love you!

Love,

Tracy 

Our wedding Song:

 You're the Meaning In My Life

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYkrMTingNQ

Not Feelin' the LOVE!

I tried to give Grace...

honest

but by the end of the "quick" run to 

Wal-Mart

with the 2 girls and baby I was irritated.

I have thought about sharing this one aspect of adoption that has had me bothered at times

since Mother's Day

and since 

Tuesday at Wal-Mart about did me in I 

decided it was time.

Trying to choose ketchup and mustard

with the baby in the basket and the 2 girls

wandering around 

an older women walked up and starting talking to the girls

and baby..

"Oh, he's sooo cute... I bet he get's ALL the attention,

well girls, one day he won't.. blah , blah blah.

I was trying to keep on task and slightly ignore her hoping she would scurry along...

Nope!

"Well, where are you from?" (talking to the girls)

by now she has my full attention.

I replied, "WE are from xyz"

Her response, "No, I mean where are they ORIGINALLY from?"

"They are from Ethiopia"

"Ohhhh...what are your names?"

4 yr old says her name but of course the lady can't understand her.

I say, "Just say Anne" to our 4 yr old.

The lady says, " NO, Anne is TOO plain, your other name is GRAND!"

(I'm like WHAT the HECK lady! That's my name too!)

And she is motioning with her arms outstretched making sweeping gestures all the while.

Then she asks our 6 yr old what her name is...

she tells her.

Then the lady says, "This is your NEW family!"

I interject and say "YES, this is our family... I'm your Mommy, right...etc. etc."

4 yr old starts to talk to lady about her Daddy being in Texas and as lady is commenting on that I am hurriedly 

pushing the basket away from her around the corner. 

Head to checkout in a hurry...here comes lady in the next checkout lane.

She says, "OH THERE YOU ARE!" 

4 yr old is giggling and being very charming. 

Baby is saying "thank you " for something and lady proceeds to make him repeat "thank you" saying

"say it... say Thank You!" 

I was like "that's just how he says it!"

and rushed out the door from whacko lady.

I had HAD IT!

Yes, I know our family looks different-- people are very 

curious

but people can also be very insensitive.

(or maybe there social skills are lacking!)

I understand where people are coming from..

I was there

 before our family was all together

I was fascinated by trans -racial families

and wanted to know their stories 

BUT

I didn't ask personal questions of strangers

just like I wouldn't ask a family of all

the same skin color personal questions

I know I should respond with grace and even humor

because our family on display is a beautiful 

example of adoption

and 

God's LOVE for us, His children.

So, in hindsight I should have just said,

"thank you for your interest in our sweet family but

I have to run." :)

Honestly, I have struggled with how much attention our family

(especially the girl's) get when we are out. Out of the

ordinary attention...not natural attention :)

I KNEW to be prepared for this but it's been harder than I thought it would be.

Just a few examples:

I took our 6 yr old bio son and 8 yr old Ethiopian son to the school

district office to pick up some materials.

When we got to the main gals office who is over the ESL programs I told her I had brought 2 helpers. I introduced her to our 8 yr old and she said, "OH, this is D who we have been talking about! So good to meet you!" and shook his hand. Then literally she just kept looking at him like she was looking at a museum piece. After it seemed like an eternity I said, "And this is my other helper, M!"  

Not feeling the LOVE in that situation for sure for that lady!

We went to Moab for Mother's Day with all 5 of our littles. You have to understand this was  a big deal b/c it was the first time we went anywhere on an overnight trip. We stayed a few days but thankfully didn't tent camp! :) 

Anyway, walking down the main street we were a site to see and got quite a few smiles and stares. 

I walked into a pizza restaurant with the girls. Randall and boys were following behind.

We got up to the hostess and she immediately started gushing..."Oh my gosh, they are so cute!!" On and on....of course 4 yr old LOVED the attention . I wanted to say..."Please just give us a seat."

After dinner I took girl's to bathroom...A woman came in and started commenting on 4 yr olds cute hair. I had to go too so I quickly went into the stall and told girl's to stand there and not move.  Lady is still talking to girl's. I come out and she's still talking!! She then starts to comment on 6 yr olds cute hair and touches it. Then 4 yr old jumps in needing more attention and tells lady their ages, about her brother and her life :) I'm washing hands as fast as I can go to get out of there. 

I will stop here b/c I realize  you probably have the idea...

yes, our children are cute...JUST like ALL children...

it's hard b/c as we are working with them on attachment and

NOT seeking attention all the time

they are getting

IT 

all the time from strangers

and well-meaning friends alike.

It has a term-

(can't remember what it is)

but basically it's well meaning people showering  not normal attention

to black children /families 

to show them they are not racist.

(disclaimer- this is my definition not the right one :)

I read in one of our adoption books,

that trans racial families would like to just go into the store

to buy a gallon of milk without all the fanfare! : )

I feel just like that.

What I would say to unsuspecting strangers 

just treat us like any other family with children...

no 

GUSHING!

just regular low key acknowledgment

and if you have a question about adoption that is appropriate

and it's not when I  am choosing mustard and ketchup

please free to ask... :)

This is a term a therapist used who is working with a friend of mine who has a bio child with RAD... no gushing over her. It's not healthy for our kiddos :)

I guess I won't talk about the hair touching and squeezing either at this moment.

You get the picture! :)

Thank you for "listening" to my heart...

in no way want to offend anyone

and I do need to work

on 

giving

grace

because

God 

knows 

I 

need it too! :)

Just my Mama's heart at the moment 

(or last few months!)

Big Brother Christopher-yes they all squish in this pool! :)

2 yrs old!

Love, Tracy

We haven't dropped off the planet! :)

Life has been speeding by

 hit some SPEED BUMPS

and long stretches

of barren highway...

Whizzed effortlessly

down the freeway

at times

enjoying the 

RIDE

and we

are still ALIVE 

and 

WELL  :)

Home 8 months and have lots to share...

but will later when my 

thoughts are clearer.

Thanks to my BROTHER

here are some pictures of our kiddos!

https://silverhillimages.com/blog/2012/06/dr-seuss-visits-my-family/

click on the Gallery Link in the article to see pics :)

Love, Tracy 

Hip Hip Horray!

Kindergarten graduation day!

Summer Fun!

Not sure about the sprinkler!

My March Baby :) and almost 6 mo. home!!

Happy 19th Birthday

to our sweet Nicholas!

Today we celebrated the birth of our 4th son,

Nicholas.

We thought he was the last of the bunch...

Enjoy a few pictures of our early years..

Nick is the one with dark brown hair :)

Christopher's wedding...

Tonight he had 5 little brother's and sister's, 1 big brother,
and 1 Pop-Pop and Grandma
singing Happy Birthday to him with much 

excitement!

We are so thankful for Nick!

Time has been flying by! It's hard to believe we have been home over 5 months.

At 6 mo. we have another post adoption report due to Ethiopia. We had one at 3 mo. with our social worker.

Ethiopia requires a 3, 6, 12 mo. report done by our social worker and then a yearly report done by us after that until the kids are 18!

Here are some funny happenings that have gone on....

We were driving down the road and saw a little Toy Poodle running on the sidewalk.

E. hollered out (because most talking is done in a very loud voice!)

"LOOK! There's a SHEEP!!"

I couldn't help but laugh and explained that was a poodle :)

Another time I had taken all 5 kids to the park. (which goes to show how far we have come in 5 months!)  Nick was with me but waiting in the van because we only had a few minutes before we were to meet Randall for dinner.

All of a sudden T. say's, "PEE, I have to pee!!" I'm running to the bathrooms which of course are locked. He's having a conniption

  and I'm trying to figure out a private spot for him to pee. (there's a girl's soccer team practicing several yards away)

Frantically, I had him come by the side of the bathroom and told him to pee right there. He starts to pull down his pants and squat. I was like "No, stand up!" Pee!

He's now in a panic saying, "Ca-ca!!!" (poo!)

Now I'm in a panic! "Pull up your pants!!" "Everybody in the van!!" 

By now the baby has wandered off and everyone is looking at me like I'm nuts.

After gathering the other 4 sad kids we rush to the van and pile in.

I'm hollering at Nick to help buckle them all in and off we go to the 7-11 up the street. 

We rush in and ask for the bathroom where T. sits for awhile and feels much better!

There is a song T. learned listening to Randall's I-Pod in Ethiopia and all the way (and several weeks after we were home...finally weaned him off of it!)

The words are" I feel so alive! For the very very first time! I feel like I could fly, fly, fly"

Well, T was singing, " I peel so a lion, for the berry  berry first time, I peel like I could fly, fly, fly!" I didn't even know what the words were till Randall told me and I just had to laugh!

I had thrown out some dead roses out the back door into the dirt. 

Well the kids found them and replanted them in a pot :)

They were convinced they were growing!

They are so enthralled with the hyacinths and daffodils blooming...

"MOM, MOM, look! Flowers!!! Let me showm (that's how they say show)

you!"

The girls are very observant of women and what they wear. If I get a Kohl's ad or they see women scantily clad they ask me, "You Like?" I say, "No, that's not very good to dress that way...too short shorts, etc. etc."

Now they tell me "not good" only my 4 year pointed a gal out in TJ max who was dressed and commented right next to her all the while pointing at her.

So we had a talk about not pointing or talking about people in front of them :)

We have had a few talks which the girl's initiated about our skin color...they are very big on what matches...clothes, plates at the table, colors, etc.

So E. was saying, "Mom, S. matches you (our skin) and me no match."

We talked about her skin being darker brown and Mommy's lighter brown.

S. told me the other day my skin was yellow :)

They have come so far since they first came home on behavior.

We would literally have meltdowns and wailing fits. 

They would physically shut down and refuse to move.

We know it was due to all the change, fear, grief etc.

Learning to use words has been a big focus and as they have learned more and more English it has been so much easier to communicate their needs.

Randall said the other day that 

LIFE

was feeling more normal

our NEW normal is inching it's way in.

(He said that after taking the boy's biking which

is a big part of our family.)

We feel like our family is melding together and we can sense when the kid's are a bit off 

or regressing.

Thank you, as always, for the prayers and encouragement!

It is amazing how God uses His people to lift up, encourage and support 

one another!

As a reminder to myself and all of you:

So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.

~ 1 Corinthians 15:58 

Brother's digging up Daddy's horse radish!
Very proud of all the roots they dug up!

Luke's 25th birthday!

beautiful baby

riding the pump track!

biggest brother Luke at bike pump track

Mommy coiled hair!

3 kids loving the sunshine!

Nick's 19th birthday!

Love, Tracy :)

Oatmeal in my pocket...Gum on my shoe!

Some DAYS, WEEKS, seems like MONTHS,

are like that....

I started out making our normal 10 cups of oatmeal

and as I was filling up a little bowl at the stove

it slipped out of my hands...

HOT oatmeal all down me and right into my hoodie pocket!

(the hoodie I was wearing happened to have GRUMPY from the Seven Dwarves on it..just fit my mood!)

I was doing hair, brushing teeth and wiping bums in the kid's bathroom when my bare foot was sticking to the floor.

What on earth!! WHO IS SPITTING THEIR GUM ON THE FLOOR!!
(I know the blog title says "shoe" but that sounded better than "foot" :))

I haven't posted in soooo long for several reasons...

Life has been hard and I've been worn out physically and emotionally some days :)

It's not hard 24/7

There are some beautiful, sweet, funny, precious, everything good moments and days 

for sure!

Like the other day when

Boy comes down in sandals and I say...you need to put on tennis shoes...it's freezing outside!

"But MOM, these are Jesus shoes!!!"

Okay, how do you argue with that. He got to wear the sandals.

We are hearing more and more stories of the children's lives back in
Ethiopia.

Heartbreaking at times for what they have seen and experienced.

Yet, they are so animated when they tell us and laugh at times remembering funny things.

At bedtime I was talking with both boys..

Big boy was telling me about his Ethiopia Mom and how she is with Jesus.

I just try and listen and think

"What Lord, can I say to comfort him?"

Then our 6 yr old says, 

"Mom, T is going to heaven b/c he asked Jesus into his heart!

"I told him what to do and said the words and he said them after me,

so he is going to be in heaven with me forever!"

Wow! I was speechless and full of tears. 

My 6 yr old is having conversations at night with his brother that are of the upmost importance

and I'm just trying to get everyone quiet and asleep!

I think I have been overwhelmed and have missed out on the right

perspective.

I get in the middle of all the 

"MOM, MOM!

and trying to attach to 4 children who were uprooted 3 months ago from the only 

lives they have known,

and I forget

we are not alone in this...

even though adoption can be a lonely place when

other's can't understand

why you don't let your 4 year old 

love on them and sit on their laps

or why

you can't leave the baby in the nursery at church till that baby is KNOWS 

we won't ever leave them and we are coming back.

That we miss our friends and the fellowship

but for our children's sake to learn we are family

we have had to cocoon and not leave them with others.

For the first time in over 3 months Randall and I went to 

dinner together (at dinner time!)

for his work. It was the first time we were both gone from the kids at dinner and bedtime!

It FELT sooo good! :)

My Mom and Nick watched the kids (yes, it takes 2 people!)

I came across this quote a while back and it really encouraged me:

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
President Theodore Roosevelt

We are in the arena of trying to blend a family and 

not err

but 

thankfully we 

don't get our strength from ourselves...

Isaiah 40:31
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

And at the end of the day

I am so grateful

whether I am worn out or not

that God has chosen us

for these 4 sweet children.

 When I see all 4 big kids intently digging the biggest hole

ever in the garden TOGETHER

I think this is part of what 

it's all about!

Our bio 6 yr old is not by himself digging...

they all have each other.

4 heads is better than 1 for digging!

mmmm..peanut butter/jelly and bell pepper sandwich!

Biggest brother with 2 little brothers :)

1st day of school!

Wait! I think I see a worm!

kisses!

jogging buddy! 1st time to use the jogging stroller again!
Yahoo!

All 4 wanted to sit on same side of table
Together!

Love, Tracy